"Medal not good enough" says hired killer

The latest soldier to win the George Cross has criticised Gordon Brown for betraying the army and reveals he now works in a shit job at a call centre selling insurance.

"My medal says I am a successful hired killer, a man of extraordinary thuggery," says Private Parts. "But now I'm being shafted like everyone else in this country and work in a call centre. My life has gone from shit to extremely shit."

"I was brought up thinking that if I shot and terrorised men, women and children abroad, I would get some kind of special treatment. It seems this government just doesn't care about their hired thugs any more and is quite happy to exploit them the way they do everyone else. It's just not fair."